For context : we're living in Senegal with our family for a couple of months. At the moment "the new" is starting to wear off and it's not always easy ... learning as we go.
After almost 3 months taking my children to school every day and being treated as a museum exhibit while doing so, today it was just too much.
I really couldn't cope anymore with being called out with the same questions, every, single day. Obviously I made an utter fool of myself while getting caught up in the moment ... and probably just made it worse now.
Is this what they call reverse racism?
I've been a bit absent, lured into the birdsite too much the past months. Nevertheless, looking forward to defend my PhD on October 21st! https://www.kuleuven.be/doctoraatsverdediging/fiches/3H15/3H150669.htm
Ok, I value honest and unbiassed feedback for sure ... but what I just received in my inbox resembles a nuclear torpedo launch.
Over the past week I've been sharing some parts of my phd thesis with peers. Getting some strong comments regarding my writing style, English grammar and vocabulary. So strange that no-one told me this before, I'd really like to figure out how I can improve my writing - yet suggesting what I could do to write better is something people have difficulties with.
Meandering towards the end.
Sounds that remind me of my childhood to wind down today. I still have the vinyl single my mum used to play.
This concludes the late night rant to myself.
I really don't want to spend any mental effort on defending my case in any way.
If my commission is supportive, I'll gladly push on to the end of the phd.
If they don't, I'll just publish what I have on github and mentally move on.
I have a meeting with my committe on June 9th where I'll kind of state I want to submit by July 8th.
As long as no-one gives me feedback on that plan, I've decided to just push ahead.
Today's anxiety was caused by having the feeling I get 0 respect for trying to finish my phd work.
Probably untrue, but still ... that's where my mind is at.
I played in the live orchestra of a Jesus Christ Superstar show way back in 1998-99. The song that stuck with me until today is Gethsemane.
Whenever I'm in doubt regarding whatever, I find myself coming back to it.
Did find this rather awesome Korean version though https://youtu.be/u4SobcNflRE
Next generation alchemist * Full stack human #nobot
Home to the Roeckoe family & some friends