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It for sure isn't all peaches and cream. Last week was, literally, filled with emotions*. Tears, cries, anger but also loud laughs and soothing cuddles.

*For everyone in the family, my wife, myself and the three children under our roof.

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Yesterday we hear S might move out sooner than planned, but hearing from his teachers that after one week his behaviour had already changed (for the better) made me realise that the energy we are putting in pays off in the long run.

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Foster parenting adventure, one week in.
It's been intense, but being able to provide a child with structure and life assurance is why we do this.

Over the past days we shouted, laughed, cried and talked a lot. After 4 days the cuts are still deep, and probably will get deeper, but we march on. In the end, everyone will gain from this, for greater justice.

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The start of a new foster parenting adventure is always super tough. It really is a sudden disruption of the social fabric in a family, everyone looses their equilibrium and together you start rebuilding it.

My wife said : "if it all fails, at least we'll have learned a lot ourselves".
That's keeping me strong right now, because the message makes sense.

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tbh I'm super tensed up ... in the past we took care of several younger children (1,5 - 3 or 4 year old) where the emotional 'baggage' was difficult enough.
I honestly have no idea what things will be like with an older child. Diving it head first.

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Tonight we're starting a new foster parenting adventure. 8 year old boy, welcome to the family!

I've been listening quite a bit to Oasis' Stop Crying Your Heart Out - I think its lyrics and mood are currently a good mirror of my current state of mind.

Cancelled my WoW classic subscription. I had to realise the hard way it had been slowly overtaking a serious chunk of my family and social interactions.
It's still one of my favourite games, it just sucks it's so damn good at pulling all the psychological strings in my mind. I eventually decided to quit for my own mental sanity.

I literally was about to reply : fuck this shit. All of it.
I didn't.
I'll just push on and get it done. All of it.

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I'm in full force to consolidate my phd work in a finalised draft.
Today I got an email from one of my supervisors : "perhaps you should ask someone to review your level of english before sending your draft next time".
Like ... we've been at this for almost 5 years now, and this is the feedback you give me?

Re-reading a 2014 published paper which has been thoroughly dissed for its poor quality by people who were once close to me. But actually enjoying my own writing and somehow feeling proud of the work that got critiqued so badly before.

Mashing up some recent keyboardland trends in a new macropad design.
Doing this to keep my mental sanity together in odd times.

I thought I had my parents hooked to jitsi for calls in corona times.
This morning my dad sent me a cisco webex meeting invite.

I've been lured into tweeting again more actively over the past days. Recent experiences made me realise once again why I moved to my mastodon hideout.

60 minutes in an event about AI ethics and the panel moderator realises AI as such has not been introduced.

"I'm not sure if it really is a AI, but it for sure is related" -- panelist at AI & ethics event.

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Roeckoe 🐦

Home to the Roeckoe family & some friends